So this past Saturday, a friend of ours had won tickets to see the "Jeff Corwin Experience" live at Millikin University here in Decatur...and had invited us! (which was cool in itself, being "invited" somewhere.....doesn't happen much post-kids). We thought, hey, we like those animal shows as much as anyone....we'd love to go. And secretly, I knew there'd be snakes.
On the way in, we were stopped abruptly by 3 guys with very nicely tucked in shirts, asking us if we were "born again". Having built up a callous to approaches like this, I said "yup" and kept walking. My wife and our friends are too nice, though....and at least stopped long enough to receive their fliers. There were 2 main ones: "There are only 4 steps between Heaven, and HELL" (with Hell being written in flame letters, obviously). I can't remember the title of the other one, but it was kind of like a "kids menu" of the first one. It included a maze in the middle, with the cross being the ultimate goal. I eventually ended up with the less entertaining one.
Both offered all of Christianity as being 2 choices: You can burn forever in a flaming pit...or you can enjoy bliss forever in a golden city. I was surprised churches still use these things. Duh...when offered the choice like that.....anyone would choose bliss, right? I have a hard time imagining someone reading one of those fliers, and looking up at the world, believing it for the first time....and calling the church listed right away for help on moving towards bliss.
I also don't like how it reduces all of what I am to "avoiding an eternal death". I use this illustration all the time with my teens: If Heaven were fire and pain, but God was there....and Hell were gold, hot tubs, and ice cream, but no God....where would you want to spend eternity? It's a good door opener, for asking why we actually follow God.
Meanwhile...the Corwin experience went on. The first 45 minutes was cool...he brought out a giant toad, snapping turtle, albino alligator, snake, etc...and had cute kids some up and hold them each. Then it went downhill. An hour of open "Q & A" format with the audience. In Decatur, IL. We're not known for our cumulative intelligence.
"Hey Jeff, when's the best time to mate my iguanas??" - Was about on par for the rest of the night. So it came as a relief when our babysitter sent us a text to come home, cause Sophie was upset.
The lesson here? If Jeff Corwin comes to your town.....and you've already seen him on TV...save your money. But if you win free tickets on the radio.....you should go. You might even get to Heaven because of it.
Church For The Unwelcomed
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