I've been married for almost 8 years now, so I obviously know everything there is to know about marriage. But stay with me...
An interesting illustration was made this past week, that I felt worth repeating/fleshing out. Many of us have heard of the "IQ" or "Intelligence Quotient" tests. These tests do not measure how smart a person is. They don't speak of what has happened, is happening, or will happen. These tests simply pointed to the "potential" level of mental capacities a person has.
In a marriage, there are many aspects and topics that can be discussed. Communication in both directions, both of difficult topics and joyful words from the heart, can be an area that couples struggle in simply due to varying modes of "Love Languages". Many more topics flow out of this, the marriage relationship, that has often been identified as one of, if not THE most important relationship with a human God offers us. A relationship from which so many others can flow from. The importance of doing this one well....is huge.
In Ephesians chapter 5, we hear the word of God to both husbands and wives. It speaks about submission in love. The illustration used this past week was the comparison of a "submission quotient" to the "IQ" tests. the "SQ" of a couple can be a great indicator of how healthy their marriage is/can be. Not a guarantee or proof. The beautiful thing about an "SQ" is that God offers to help us increase it on a regular basis, in our relationship with him. Most of us would naturally score fairly low on the "putting others before ourselves" area. But so much of our journey in Christ is about being released from our selves, and directed toward a care/love/concern for the other.
I'm not sure what Sarah and my "SQ" score would be. I'm certain it's better when hockey playoffs aren't on. I suppose that's another important aspect....submission is not dependent on half of the relationship. It's a mutual submissiveness that allows for a healthy marriage. Love and desire to put the other before ourselves, coming from both directions, allows for balance, and points to the kind of relationship God desires to have with His bride. A self-less, sacrificial, and hope-filled love for the other that speaks Gods' Kingdom into a broken world unable to relate well to each other on their own.
As a husband, I pray God continues to increase what I bring to our cumulative "SQ". Not only in calendar planning, but in toothpaste cap securing, etc. That I would moment by moment learn to let go of self, and increase in my ability to Love my wife, and speak God's Love into/over/at her in private and in public...
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